When Asking God for Guidance Is the Wrong Question

You need an answer, and you need it fast. It matters.

Maybe it’s about your business, your kids, your finances, or a relationship. It’s important. You’ve prayed about it. You’ve asked God what to do.

And you hear crickets. Where is God? Why isn’t He answering? Doesn’t He know how important this is?

Of course He does. But sometimes the problem isn’t that God isn’t answering. Sometimes He’s answering a question you didn’t know you needed to ask. Because before you get the answer you ask for, there is something you must do, know—or be.

What If God Has Something Else to Say First?

There’s nothing wrong with asking God for guidance. Shoot, there’s everything right! James says it: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5) 

But I want you to notice something. James specifically talks about wisdom. Asking the Lord for wisdom. Because wisdom will allow us to know His will and weave our prayer requests into His loving will.

We’re supposed to ask God like a kid will ask his loving Dad! But a loving Dad doesn’t automatically give his kids exactly what they want at exactly the time they ask it. Can you imagine?! That would be bad.

Because He knows what we need. He knows where we’re going. He knows the path He has laid out for us—a good, unique, purposeful path.

And sometimes His first answer isn’t about the decision at all.

It’s about HIM—and who YOU are in Him.

God delights to give. But before the gift, there is the Giver. Before clarity, calling, gifting, and guidance, there is relationship with God. Everything else grows out of knowing Him, trusting Him, listening to Him, and becoming more like Christ.

And the immediate answer to an immediate question may not be the right timing for you.

So, what do you do when you’ve asked and asked and still don’t have an answer? Stop asking and listen instead. Just like Elijah did.

Elijah Had to Get Quiet, Too

I never forgot the first time I realized what God was doing. I desperately wanted an answer from God about a business decision. At the time, it seemed tremendously important.

Ironically, I can’t even remember what the question was. But it sure seemed important at the time.

What I do remember is what God taught me through it. He reminded me of Elijah in 1 Kings 18 and 19.

Elijah was a great prophet and saw God work in spectacular ways. He had just called down the fire of God on Mount Carmel. While 450 priests of Baal had utterly failed to summon their god, Elijah prayed that the Lord’s holy fire would roar down from heaven to consume the sacrifice, char the altar, and evaporate all the water flowing in a deep trench around it.

And God did.

But where was God when Queen Jezebel vowed vengeance and put a bounty on his head? Where was God when, exhausted and terrified, Elijah fetched up on lonely Mount Horeb.

And God told him to watch.

A powerful wind came.

But the Lord wasn’t in the wind.

Then there was an earthquake. The Lord wasn’t in the earthquake.

Then there was a fire. The Lord wasn’t in the fire.

And after the fire came what Scripture describes as a gentle whisper—a low, quiet voice. Elijah finally heard God in the quiet—and God gave him a mighty answer.

Sometimes we need to stop demanding an answer long enough to hear the voice behind it. God’s voice.

So How Do You Listen to God?

Listening to God isn’t strange or unbiblical. Scripture is filled with people hearing from God in many different ways.

God speaks through Scripture. He speaks through dreams and visions. He brings things repeatedly to our attention. And throughout Christian history, believers have practiced ways of prayer that involve not only speaking to God but becoming quiet enough to listen.

That can include praying Scripture, biblical meditation, lectio divina, silence, and imaging prayer—prayer that uses the sanctified imagination to become attentive to Holy Spirit-guided images.

This is at the heart of the work I do with Christian women, both individually and in small groups. Because prayer isn’t supposed to be a one-way conversation.

Keep talking to God! He loves you and loves being in relationship with you.

I talk to Him all the time. But I also know how to maintain silence so I can hear His voice: first in the Bible, and also in images and circumstances. And He speaks.

Learn to be quiet so you can hear Him when He speaks.

And when you’re desperate for guidance, don’t be surprised if the first thing He says isn’t the answer to the question you asked. It may be something you never thought to ask, but it will be exactly what you need to know.

Keep listening. Keep exploring. Choose adventures with God! And live out your high and holy purpose in His mighty Kingdom.